Our Love For Teaching
Jose Mari Almoradie Carpena
You might be asking yourself now, just like in Tina Turner’s 1984 song “What’s Love Got To Do With It”, what does love really have to do with teaching? Isn’t this just a job? To start off, there are different conceptualizations and theories of love. For example, Rempel and Burris (2005) define love as a “motivational state in which the goal is to preserve and promote the well-being of the valued object” (p. 299). They moreover specify that love is not a behavior, relationship, nor is it an emotion; specifically, it is a motive. It is the answer as to “why” we do something. While helpful, this definition does not necessarily provide us with a functional definition of what love is. A more robust definition of love would be the one found in Sternberg’s (1986) “Triangular Theory of Love”. For Sternberg, love is made up of three “components”: passion (i.e., desire, the “hot” part of love), commitment (the conscious decision to devote oneself to a person(s) continuously), and intimacy, the “friendly” or “connectedness” aspect of love. One can measure each aspect of the theory, and according to Sternberg, when one feels all three components, that person is experiencing “consummate love”, the most “complete” kind of love.
But Kelloway et al. (2015) go as far as to say that Sternberg’s theory can be applied to the context of loving one’s occupation. In particular, the components each refer to a specific dimension to a working environment, as elaborated below:
Passion Felt For One’s Work
Kelloway et al. explain that, in the context of a job, passion can be seen as “longing” to engage in one’s occupational tasks. This, I believe, is something us teachers can relate to. When the pandemic started, we were all suddenly barred from going to the campus. I’m sure many of us miss teaching, and even if we are teaching via online modalities now, we miss teaching our students face-to-face.
Commitment for the Employing Organization
Kelloway et al. explain that commitment in this context comes in the form of organizational commitment. It refers to our affective commitment to the institution we belong to. In the context of us teachers, do you like the school or institution you are working for? Do you think that the institution is worth your effort and time? Or do you catch yourself asking yourself if you should look for another company or institution to work for?
Intimacy With People At Work
To reiterate, intimacy under Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love does not refer to the usual meaning of intimacy, but refers more to “friendship”. Kelloway et al. explain that close relationships are vital to a positive work environment. Indeed, positive interpersonal relationships are also considered as a cornerstone of motivation under the Self-Determination Theory (Deci et al., 2017). In our context as teachers, when we feel “close” with our students, doesn’t it just make a stressful day more bearable?
Now that we know how these components of love operate in our work, we have to understand some few caveats:
1. Passion Isn’t Consistent
In both relationships and our jobs, to have a dip in passion is normal. In relationships, the “high” in a relationship is usually called the honeymoon phase. In work, we usually find highs in moments when we do portions of our job which we particularly enjoy. For example, I’m sure that most of us would be more passionate about giving lectures rather than grading papers or encoding grades. Moreover, there are days which just seem more “exciting” and “enjoyable”. This is normal; having a constant high in a relationship or occupation would be excruciatingly tiring. What’s important is that we find that “high” moments in our work at key moments, and not lull ourselves into prolonged dips.Consider Putting Well-Being Over Commitment
2. Well-being Over Commitment
While commitment is indeed a component of love, we should never put our well-being in jeopardy when those we are supposed to be committed to already abuse us. In terms of a relationship, being committed to an abusive partner is simply ignoring red flags. The same goes with organizations: if an employer is already abusive (in the form of consistently delayed payments, unjustified work hours, a generally toxic management, etc.), then maybe it’s time to think things through.
3. Relationships Are Two-Way Streets
It’s normal to see our relationships as an “independent variable” when we talk about our own well-being. However, we should also remember that we are responsible for the growth and flourishing of said relationships. In both romantic and professional relationships, we can’t expect these relationships to simply thrive without putting in any effort from our end. As it is being a good partner in romantic relationships, it is important to remain a good friend to our students as well.
Now I’m not going to ask if you love your job, but what I will ask is this: what are you doing to foster that relationship you have with your occupation?
References:
Deci, E. L., Olafsen, A. H., & Ryan, R. M. (2017). Self-determination theory in work organizations: The state of a science. Annual Review of Organizational Psychology and Organizational Behavior, 4, 19-43.
Kelloway, E. K., Inness, M., Barling, J., Francis, L., & Turner, N. (2010). Loving one’s job: Construct development and implications for individual well-being. In New developments in theoretical and conceptual approaches to job stress. Emerald Group Publishing Limited.
Rempel, J. K., & Burris, C. T. (2005). Let me count the ways: An integrative theory of love and hate. Personal Relationships, 12, 297–313
Sternberg, R. J. (1986). A triangular theory of love. Psychological Review, 93, 119–135.
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